Wednesday, 31 January 2018

Bee Kind / Be Kind

Boots: Topshop

I have a love/hate relationship with blogging for personal reasons. Although I started this blog years ago, I went through phases of never using it, to posting several times a week, but the thing I always struggle with is writing posts. I’m not a natural writer, I never have the urge to sit down and write how I’m feeling, this part just doesn’t come naturally to me and is something I constantly struggle with when posting. But at the same time I'm a perfectionist, nothing is ever good enough, hence why this is extra hard for me. I want this to be a thoughtful, insightful blog, not just about outfits. I want to create and grow it this year. But there's that voice in the back of my head telling me I never have anything interesting/exciting to say, most of the time I feel like I sound like I’m moaning. I’ve always had a problem with communicating how I’m feeling, I have a tendency to shut down and push people away. This was the case last year especially, when my mum filed for divorce from my dad, for horrible reasons which I won’t get into, but I just didn’t want to talk or speak to anyone, let alone write a post about some outfit I was wearing.

And don’t even get me started on the anxiety of posting photos of myself, picking apart all my flaws until I literally felt like I couldn’t post them at all, after working so hard setting up shoots and working with brands. It’s such a struggle nowadays, there is a constant pressure to ‘fit in’ and create this image of yourself where everything is just rosy and you’re having the time of your life, when in reality of course this isn’t the case at all. Which I’m learning whenI get overwhelmed and start comparing myself to others, to take a step back, switch off from the internet and concentrate on the positives in real life. 

I used to beat myself up about writing posts, the anxiety I got was so extreme I used to put off posts that I’d shot for weeks or months at a time, ashamed I couldn’t write down what I was feeling or have anything interesting to say, I couldn’t articulate in words, or be witty enough, and I would cringe and not be able to even read what I’d written and be embarrassed about sharing anything at all, preferring instagram where I could post a pic and a few emojis, never getting involved in writing proper captions or shying away from talking and commenting on others feed for fear they would think I sounded silly.

Even now I’ve been sat reading blogs and thinking to myself, this whole rambling isn’t how I wanted to get this across, maybe I should just delete this and not bother. But no, I will be brave and press that publish button, this year I will push myself to get out of my comfort zone and really engage and try and communicate how I am feeling. 

I am learning to be kinder on myself, I am my own worst enemy, and of course it has to start with self love. I’m teaching myself to be kind and not beat myself up all the time, which is a slow process, and although I know now writing will never come naturally to me, but that’s ok, it shouldn’t bring me down, after all this is my own blog and it’s ok not to be perfect. Try not to be afraid of what others will think, you can never please everyone, it’s more important for me get out there and try, and not let my fears hold me back from something I love to do.  This cute slogan t-shirt really got me thinking didn't it!


Monday, 29 January 2018

Curly Sue

Jumper: Free People
Flares: Free People
Kayla Cap: Brixton*
Cavalier Boots: Matisse

Photography: Kaye Ford

I mean, hello dream kitchen! If you've not visited Bobby Fitzpatrick in west London then I suggest you should immediately, if not sooner, as it is literally a 70s dream come true. Everything about it is amazing, the attention to detail is incredible, and I can't wait to shared more from this shoot with you.

I went for the first time to shoot with Kaye and basically just wanted to move in. It's such a shame that there is no where like this in Brighton. It's given me a few ideas let me tell you! And what a complimentary outfit to wear in the 'kitchen' area, mustard is my absolutely favourite colour, and it's perfect for banishing those January blues.

I've been recently desperate to do something different with my hair. I don't know if it's the January blues/boredom kicking in, but unless I cut it all off (NEVER not after growing it this long) I am itching for a change, and from someone who has super straight hair and hates wearing her hair up, curling my hair has been a great alternative recently, I LOVE the way it looks. I was always desperate to have curly hair as a kid, I would sleep religiously in rags or those foam curlers, or good old fashioned braids, but after a few hours of waking up my hair would just be completely straight again, much to my despair. 

So when I found curling wands it was a dream come true. Although now  I am desperate to upgrade and get a better curling wand, I've been so overwhelmed by the amount of choice out there, seriously who knew how many they were! So if anyone has any suggestions for a great wand, please let me know.


Monday, 15 January 2018

Double Leopard

Leopard Blouse: JDY via ASOS
Boots: Old Jeffrey Campbell, similar: here
Beret: ASOS

Photography: Kaye Ford

It's the middle of January and Blue Monday, what a killer combination. I'm currently sat on the train on my way to a blog shoot that almost got rained off (thanks very much gale force winds and torrential rain, good old British weather), and I'm trying very hard to be positive but I find it so hard in January. I keep having to remind myself that this wintery cold period won't last forever, and better days are yet to come. Last night we just booked a little getaway to Italy at the beginning of Feb, back to Rome (I LOVE Rome, it's beautiful) and I'm now counting down the days.

I'm not usually a leopard print kind of girl, I've had these boots forever and worn them like twice, three times? I love the shape of them though. My perfect boot shape. I need these boots in every colour basically. I do find it harder to style patterned boots, as I love patterned clothing and prefer to stick to more neutral boot colours, but who couldn't resist a bit of double leopard print? This blouse looks great with denim or white jeans as it does suede, and I love the cut out neck detail and flared sleeves, making it look that little bit more expensive than it was (£18!). 


Friday, 5 January 2018

Hello January

Paisley Tunic and Flares: Waiste Vintage
Bag: Cactus Leather Camden*
'Albany' Cap: Brixton*

Photography: Fordtography

Ah, new year, new me and all that. Not quite, well kind of. Surely you should be trying to better yourself as a person 365 days of the year? Anyway, I'm not one to make resolutions, one because I never manage to ever keep them and two, I write them down and end up losing them anyway.

But one thing I do want to do this year though is really push myself with blogging and writing. With opening my vintage shop last year, I've found it so hard to find the balance between the two, and my blog to a back seat. Honestly it is so much HARD WORK to open your own shop, more than I envisioned to be honest, I knew it wouldn't be easy but it's been incredibly stressful and successful in equal measures. Especially when you can't afford to employ anyone to start with and you're working 16 days in a row, and it's even harder when you struggle and do need someone but it's your baby and you find it hard to let someone else take control.

 I have definitely come to realise I am not a people person(!) and it's not as creative as I thought it would be to have a shop, I much prefer shooting and styling (and blogging) so this year I am going to take a step back from being on the shop floor and focus my energy on blogging and my vintage website instead. I want to give this blog a complete over haul, with the design and posts, and create some really great content, sometimes I really struggle with coming up for ideas for blog posts and content, so if you want to see anything on here, please let me know in the comments below!

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