Dress: Faithfull
Boots: Free People (I am in desperate need a new pair, these have holes in! Free people please bring them back in my size!) 

No one ever said it would be easy did they, being an adult? No one ever said how hard it was going to be either. Trying to find the balance between working (what used to be three jobs) and trying to have time for a social life or even a day off was just becoming too much. I decided to leave the Asos insider role at the end of Feb, and last month took a break to Portugal with my best friend (where these photos were shot) because it was all becoming too much. I literally needed to leave the country to get away from the stress.

As much as I love having my own shop the work that comes with it is just immense. If you’re not at the shop, you’re buying for the shop or talking about the shop or planning for the shop, or sorting out stock for the shop, or paying bills for the shop, and it can become very overwhelming at times. Especially when I’m trying to fit blogging in around this. I’ve not had a proper time to sit down and write a post since the beginning of March. I’m not the kind of person who can just sit down and pour my heart out, I really have to be in the mood to do this. Even today I’ve still not had a shower, I’m in the shop for a half day at 2:30pm and I still have products to edit, measure and upload for the website as well as two email accounts worth of emails to get through. There are not enough hours in the day!  I’m just not finding the balance at the moment, and if I’m ever not working and just watching Netflix or something, I feel guilty for not working. I guess I actually still have three jobs in a sense because the online store, the brick and mortor and my blog, two out of three are a 24/7 job too. 

As much as I still love what I do and I’m so proud of myself at how far I’ve come since selling denim on the internet years ago, I can’t stress to you enough how important it is to not get burned out or overwhelmed with everything. Honestly, I’m the first person to be guilty of that. I’m a perfectionist, I want to do everything myself, I have a hard time letting people in to help me, and I beat myself up if it doesn’t turn out exactly how I thought it would. If I have too many things on at once I shut down because I become too overwhelmed, and that’s what happened last month.

I really needed that trip away. When I went away I was literally just like fuck it, I’m going, nothing is that important that it can’t wait, and it wasn’t. And it did put a lot of things into perspective. Sometimes you do need to take yourself out of a situation to see things clearly. Life is too short, as cheesy as that sounds, it’s so true. And although it’s overwhelming at the moment with massive changes and trying to manage everything and I know I’m not getting the balance just yet, I will, and it’s ok, not to be ok. It’s adjusting to the next steps in my life, now the shop is finally ours we can figure out managing it in a way that works, and learn as we go.


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