Wow, where to start with this post. With everything that is going on, I’ve felt overwhelmed to say the least. Shutting the shop, everything shutting, adjusting to working from home for the foreseeable future. Now I work from home 80% of the time anyway so this wasn’t an adjustment for me-but having my boyfriend here at the same time, ALL OF THE TIME, I’m finding it so much harder to concentrate on anything, the flat is tiny so I can’t really shoot or do videos unless he goes on his once a day walk.And he’s now become my new photographer so I’ve had to patiently wait to shoot content (although he takes present bribes). Plus I do like to overshoot so I’ve stockpiled a ton of images so there’s no chance of running out of that.
I’ve got the worst organisational skills at the best of times, so trying to organise shooting ideas or videos is out of the window right now as they usually come to me in the moment. Plus the flat is an absolute state as we’ve had to take most of the vintage out of the shop to shoot, that’s all over the place, and guess who is our only cleaner? yours truly. Mini-rant over as it’s not that bad is it, in the grand scheme of things. It’s really not, I’ve actually never been so grateful to have someone here with me, and Stan too.
I’ve seen so many people over instagram being super productive and shooting videos/scheduling blog posts and Getting.Things.Done. And I just haven’t felt like doing anything and my motivation has really dropped. I’ve got anxiety I’m not going to get anymore work. I’ve got anxiety about my family-both my nana and grandad are 91 and my mum is on her own. My emotions are all over the place and I feel like I can’t concentrate on anything until this situation becomes almost….normal? Will it become ‘normal’?
This is a surreal situation that no one really knows how to navigate. There’s no right or wrong way. If you feel like you’re the most creative of your life-go for it. If you need time out to pause and reflect and look after yourself, now is the time. There is no right or wrong way to react to this situation as we’ve never been in it before, and I must admit when I’m sitting in the flat the outside world can almost feel as though nothing is happening and it’s just me sitting in, but what it is so important to remember is that we are all in this together. And it will pass.
So I just wanted to try and carry on as ‘normal’ as I possibly can, whatever that may mean in this current situation. Which doesn’t mean that I’m being ignorant to everything going on right now, but the absolute best thing for all of us is to stay at home, with the incredible NHS workers and everyone on the frontline of this pandemic holding our country and healthcare system together, we will be forever grateful. (PS: If you want to become an NHS volunteer I’ll leave the link here)
I’m just trying to provide some escapism for people, through my instagram and blog (and maybe YouTube if I get my act together) because creating content and posts is what I really enjoy, and to me, this provides escapism. That sounded very serious like some kind of school essay. Actually if it was a school essay I’d probably get told to use a different word than escapism twice. Oh god I’m trying haha.
Shot by Beatrice Rigby for a campaign for Arket, but too pretty not to post here.
Dress gifted by Arket